Top Ten Tuesday: Books That Have Provided Solace in Times of Grief, Stress or In Need of Comfort
The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief by Jan Richardson
Recommended to me by the wife of a fallen Sheriff's Deputy. Both she and I have found solace in these blessings, written as poems. I know I will reread this book during future times of crisis, as well.
Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection by Kate Bowler
My mother gave me this book after the death of our dear relative (mentioned above) and it became very important to me as I tried to process my grief and sorrow.
Ten Poems for Difficult Times by Roger Housden
Poetry can often break through and speak to me when other prose cannot. This book of only ten poems is especially helpful and insightful during these difficult times personally and universally.
Ordinary Grace by William Kent Krueger
A fiction book full of wise and touching messages about grace and family-love.
Stitches: A Book on Meaning, Hope, and Repair by Anne Lamott
I often turn to Lamott's books when I need to feel uplifted or hopeful. This book isn't my favorite of hers, just the most recent one I've read.
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
A calm, illustrated books with sweet messages and reminders to be mindful and loving.
How Lovely the Ruins: Inspirational Poems and Words for Difficult Times by Spiegel and Grau
This small collection of poems helped me through the difficult days after George Floyd's death and the Black Lives Matter riots.
Peace Like a River by Leif Enger
I've read this novel several times and each time it has spoken to me on a spiritual level of God's love for me and my family. I find it extremely comforting.
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Epurery
An oldie but a goodie. This book is just precious to the core. So much love. So calm. So sweet.
Psalms for Praying: An Invitation to Wholeness by Nan Merrill
This book was given to me when my husband was leaving for a tour of duty in Iraq. I needed help out of my fear and dread, to voice my concerns to God in prayer. This book helped.
Weather: Overcast, but not raining. Still quite cool for this time of year.
Rita and her family. She is 34 now. Happy Birthday!
The visit: My sister drove up from Oregon for a whirlwind visit this weekend. She got to spend lots of time with our grandchildren, which is usually the point of her visits. Friday night we had a birthday party for our daughter and the boys and their cousin were like little tornadoes,spinning around the house causing chaos for three hours. We were all exhausted when the left. HA! The next day we drove up to see the construction project on their new house. It was raining and cold but that didn't deter the boys from running around, getting muddier and wetter with each foray outside. Later we walked the dog along the Chambers Bay park promenade. It was overcast but the weather held long enough for us to not get totally wet. Yesterday the whole family went to a Tacoma Rainiers game (local AAA affiliate of the Seattle Mariners), the first baseball game for the boys. Jamie met Rhubarb, the mascot. He was enamored as you see in the photo above. Later we returned home for a quick dinner of hamburgers and tater tots. Whew.
100 Books Every Child Should Hear Before Kindergarten project: Our library has put together a brochure of books every kids should have read to them before they start school. My daughter, overwhelmed this time of year with the end of her teaching year, building a new house, and wrangling two busy boys, wasn't interested in investing in the work/time this project would require. But I'm retired so I decided to take charge. So far Ian and I have read 30 of the 100 books. We are checking them off the list as we go. He seems as delighted with the project as I am, wondering when we will have time to read all the books before fall. Above you see my marked up copy of the brochure. Ian has his own copy where he checks off the books as we read them.
Guns and politics: Many politicians are more concerned about gun rights than they are about the lives these guns take every year. The death of 19 children and two teachers this week in an elementary school in Texas is just heartbreaking. Will we finally get something changed in our laws to make it harder for these lunatics to get their hands on guns? Read the tweet she sent with the poem and the Twitter thread here. This poem by poet Amanda Gorman provides a little bit of light in all this darkness:
And while I'm at it, think about this:
Think you are alone in your anger and sadness? Think again:
Give us the ability to pass gun control by donating to Democrats
running for office. Think of it as a one stop shop for using your $$$ to save democracy. Here is the link: *****Click Here to Donate for House and Senate Races****
Books:
My May Project final: I attempted to read only books from my TBR list or those I physically own. I also hoped to not add any new books to the list or purchase any new volumes. How'd I do? Failure. I started the month with 205 books on my TBR list, I now have 207 books on it and that is after reading a few titles off the list. Net gain: two. In additon, I actually purchased four or five books this month which increased the unread piles on my book shelves. Sigh.
Currently reading:
The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief by Jan Richardson. Powerful and helpful on so many levels. Print. 80%
The Heart's Invisible Furies by
John Boyne. Recommended by several bloggers I started reading this
basically blind. The main character is gay in Ireland when it was not
okay to be gay. It also has some very heartbreaking parts. Other bits
are funny. I finally feel like I have some momentum and will likely finish this book today or tomorrow. Print. 90%.
The Netanyahus by Joshua Cohen. The 2022 Pulitzer Prize winner. Interesting?! Is that a good description? Not sure if that helps you. It is somewhat about Jewish history. Audio. 41% complete.
The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis. The sixth book in the Chronicles of Narnia. A reread. Print. 20%.
The Book of Sharks: Poems by Rob Carney. I've wanted to read this collection of poems by the son of one of my friends and a past colleagues for a few years now. I finally gave up and bought it after not finding it at the local library or at any bookstores. Print. 50%.
Completed this week:
Discussions on Race: essays by a variety of authors. Thought-provoking. Print.
The Island of Sea Women
by Lisa See. Set in Korea starting in the 1930s, this is the story of
one woman's life. She is a Haenyo, a Korean female diver. The book is
historical and very heartbreaking. I look forward to discussing it in June book club. Audio.
Book club: Our discussion on the Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead did not go as I predicted. The book was not a favorite of anyone in the group therefore our discussion suffered.
Funny or sad? Life isn't turning out the way we thought it would.
Memorial Day: Is one of those confusing holidays. What are we supposed to do? It is a day on which those who died in active military
service are remembered, traditionally observed on May 30 but now
officially observed on the last Monday in May. It is not a day to honor living Veterans or all dead, though we did visit Dom's final resting spot at the First Responder's Memorial Site. Thank you for your service and for your final sacrifice.
Whatever you do, I hope it involves some fun, memorable moments.
The antics of Fred and George:
Both Fred (right) and George (left) take their role of supervisors and inspectors very seriously. This week they inspected the baby blanket my daughter crocheted for a friend before she gave it away.
Top Ten Tuesday: Quotes from Pulitzer Prize Winning Novels Still Relevant Today
As part of a personal challenge I have been attempting to read past Pulitzer Prize winners. I have decided this is what makes a book worthy of being an award winner --- it reaches through time and speaks to readers of the future.
1920: The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton
Ah, good conversation — there's nothing like it, is there? The air of ideas is the only air worth breathing.
1923: One of Ours by Willa Cather
Ruin
and new birth; the shudder of ugly things in the past, the trembling
image of beautiful ones on the horizon; finding and losing; that was
life.
1925: So Big by Edna Ferber
About
mistakes, it's funny. You've got to make your own; and not only that,
if you try to keep people from making theirs, they get mad.”
1940: The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
And the little screaming fact that sounds through all history: repression works only to strengthen and knit the repressed.
1953: The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.
1961: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.
1972: The Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner
Home is a notion that only nations of the homeless fully appreciate and only the uprooted comprehend.
1983: The Color Purple by Alice Walker
I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field
somewhere and don't notice it. People think pleasing God is all God
cares about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying
to please us back.
1986: Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters.
1994: The Shipping News by E. Annie Proulx
What we fear we often rage against.
2008: The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
You can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in.
2018: Less by Andrew Sean Greer
His brain sits before its cash register again, charging him for old shames as if he has not paid before.
2019: The Overstory by Richard Powers
The best arguments in the world won't change a person's mind. The only thing that can do that is a good story.
2021: The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich
When he needed to calm his mind, he opened a book. Any book. He had never failed to feel refreshed, even if the book was no good.
Weather: Gorgeous. Today the skies are blue and the weather is average in temperature for this time of year. The meteorologist said today was going to be the best yet and he is right so far.
This week: Don was in South Dakota for his very last business meeting; He was honored at a retirement event on Thursday; Rita and her family attended Dozer Days with the grandsons at the local fairgrounds.
Dozer Days
Buffalo, NY: Love in the face of all the hate.
Leaders join community in a peace vigil. "We cannot let hate win. And
I think that we ought to know that Buffalo rose to the occasion.
There's been no violence, there's been no riots. Buffalo stood up with
love to answer hate. Buffalo stood up with dignity to answer an atrocity" (Al Sharptin).
The family of a man who survived the shooting in Buffalo is collecting books about racism, black history, and diversity to distribute to the community. (WKBW News) Check out the list of the books here. (I am sure that the family would accept donations from people outside the community, if you want to donate.)
Donations top 1 million for families of victims and survivors. The donations came from all 50 states and 17 countries. (WKBW News) You can donate here.
Buffalo Bills and NFL Association are donating $400,000 for families of victims and survivors of the shooting spree. (WKBW News.)
About the impending abortion ban, watch this ( I need to remember this when I am talking to folks about a woman's right to choose for her own health.) (Click on the photo of the chicken, it will take you to TikTok, then click to watch the video.)
Channel this energy.
It is easy to get discouraged by the constant barrage.
Be this guy. That's patriotism as our founders would have recognized it. Not "end times" nihilism wrapped in a flag and forced down our throats.
The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief by Jan Richardson. Powerful and helpful on so many levels. Print. 30%
The Island of Sea Women by Lisa See. Set in Korea starting in the 1930s, this is the story of one woman's life. She is a Haenyo, a Korean female diver. The book is historical and very heartbreaking. This is a book club selection. I know it will generate a great discussion. Audio. 70%
The Heart's Invisible Furies by John Boyne. Recommended by several bloggers I started reading this basically blind. The main character is gay in Ireland when it was not okay to be gay. It also has some very heartbreaking parts. Other bits are funny. But I find I cannot make myself read this as fast as I should to really enjoy it. Sigh. Print. 55%.
Discussions on Race: essays by a variety of authors. Thought-provoking. Print. 79%.
Title:So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
(Hachette Book Group, 2018)
Book Beginnings quote:
(from Introduction -- "So You Want to Talk About Race") As a Black woman, race has always been a prominent part of my life. I have never been able to escape the fact that I am a Black woman in a white supremacist country. My Blackness is woven into how I dress each morning, what bars I feel comfortable going to, what music I enjoy, what neighborhood I hang out in. The realities of race have not always been welcome in my life, but they have always been there.
Friday56:
(from Chapter 4 -- "Why Am I Always Being Told to 'Check My Privilege'?") The definition of privilege is in reality much simpler than a lot of social justice discussions would have you believe. Privilege, in the social justice context, is an advantage or a set of advantages that you have that others do not.
Summary: Racism is such a difficult topic to talk about. In So You Want to Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo "guides readers of all races through subjects ranging from intersectionality and affirmative action to 'model minorities' in an attempt to make the seemingly impossible possible -- honest conversations about race and racism, and how they infect almost every aspect of American life" (Book Cover).
Review: I had grand designs in my mind about how I wanted to write this review and in the process doing the impossible -- making all my readers understand how widespread white supremacy is in our culture and what we can do to move in the right direction concerning racial issues in our country. It didn't take long for me to abandon my grand scheme -- too overwhelming -- in favor of asking you to read this book, or any similar book on the topic to increase your awareness and understanding.
I have read several books on this topic written by a variety of authors. So You Want to Talk About Race is a great place to start, if you haven't found a book to aid you on your journey moving forward. Ijeoma Olou is a half-black/half-white woman who has so many insights from her life and her research. Topics like 'checking our privilege', the 'school-to-prison pipeline', and 'tone policing' weren't new to me but she did a wonderful job explaining them and using examples to make the terms understandable. I had to sit very uncomfortably with the topic of microaggressions, police brutality (the book was published before George Floyd's death), and insights about problems in schools. Some other book titles I have read and found helpful:
The third chapter is titled, "What if I talk about race wrong?" I appreciate the practicality of this chapter and other parts of the book. Sometimes I feel scared to say anything for fear I say it wrong or, god forbid, make matters worse. This chapter assures readers that it is okay to try again next time, to apologize, and don't insist people give you credit for good intentions. Baby steps. I am making baby steps in the right direction.
Book Club: My church book club just discussed this book on Tuesday evening. Though we didn't hold as robust of a discussion as I would have hoped, I recognize that everyone in the group is on a journey toward a less racist future. We are growing. Sometimes, however, discussions about our white privilege and microaggressions are tough and make us feel uncomfortable. We don't like to think of ourselves as racists or that our very skin color has laid the way for a much different life than people of color have/are experiencing. The back of the book has very thoughtful questions to guide group discussions.
The time is now. We can no longer sit back. And we will not go back. It is time to start moving toward an anti-racist future.
Book Beginnings on Friday is hosted by Rose City Reader. Share the opening quote from current book. The Friday56 is hosted atFreda's Voice. Find a quote from page 56 to share. Visit these two websites to participate. Click on links to read quotes from books other people are reading. It is a great way to make blog friends and to get suggestions for new reading material.
Top Ten Tuesday: Books I Was So Excited To Get Yet I Still Haven't Read
The Anne of Green Gables series in a boxed set
I
purchased it from a friend at her garage sale back in late 1990s. I've
since read the first book in the series but haven't touched any of the
subsequent novels. Sigh.
Anna Karenina. I bought this book when I was in junior high in the early 1970s. I would scour the Scholastic Book Order each month and purchase one or two books on my small budget, which was lucky since this book cost around 50 cents. I've been carrying this book around with me since that time reading only the first page or two ever. Does this one win for being on anyone's list the longest?
I bought this book, Bonk by Mary Roach, the year it was published in 2009 since I like the author so much and what a different, intriguing topic: Science and Sex.
Ten Windows by Jane Hirshfield. I love reading poetry and I enjoy reading about how to analyze specific poems. When I found this book in a book store in Cannon Beach, Oregon I had to have it. Why? I guess so it could gather dust.
Tiny Habits by B.J. Fogg. I think I heard the author on a morning show on TV. I was super psyched about the idea of making small changes for big results. I started reading it in 2020 just as the COVD restrictions were in full force. I just didn't have the determination to keep reading it. I wonder if there is a chapter in it about making changes in reading habits. Ha!
Tess of the D'Urbervilles. I watched the first episode of the miniseries on PBS in 2008. In those days it was a lot more difficult to catch up on missed episodes so I ordered the book so I wouldn't miss any of the details. Well, it didn't work. I didn't read the book or find the lost episode.
Complications: A Surgeon's Notes on an Imperfect Science by Atul Gwande. I often stop by the secondhand books "store" at the library and peruse the offerings to buy for a few dollars. I found this prize and bought it because I like the author. Still haven't cracked it open.
Four Seasons in Rome. I went to see the author Anthony Doerr speak about his book All The Light We Cannot See in 2015. I was so taken by his presentation I treated myself by purchasing another of his books, a nonfiction book he wrote while he lived in Rome.
Beach Read. Another find I found at the library "store." I was pretty happy to see it since so many bloggers have reviewed it. It is still untouched.
Tell Me Why. I went through a Beatles phase a few years ago reading all the books about the Fab4 I could get my hands on and listening to their music obsessively. Unfortunately, this used book, a gift from my sister, arrived after the phase had already waned.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Apparently I have purchased this book twice. The first (left) was part of the books I bought in junior or senior high. The second (right) I just got at the library "store". I had forgotten I already had a copy which I've never read, obviously.
I know. I know. It is really obvious why I haven't read some of these books. They sound really boring! Perhaps I should donate them to the library so I can forget I used to own them and re-buy them from the "store" so they can sit around on my bookshelves for another decade or two. Sigh.
Weather: Raining. One thing you can say about all this cool weather and rain, the grass sure is green. Our neighborhood is gorgeous with everyone's lawn being so green and the azaleas and rhododendrons blooming. Don got his two tomato plants in the ground yesterday. Let's hope there is enough sunny days, not too hot, for them to bear fruit.
Don is 65! We had a family gathering yesterday in honor of his birthday. I am the photographer so you don't see me but the whole family is together, including the dog. (See photo above.) We've all been nursing colds/allergies so we weren't in top form but it was a good day! Now Don is in South Dakota on his very last business trip before retirement.
Welcome Miles! My brother is a grandfather. His daughter, my niece, and son-in-law are now parents to a darling baby boy. Can't wait to meet him.
The First Responders Memorial at Mountain View Cemetery
Final goodbye: Deputy Dom Calata, my cousin's daughter's husband, was laid to rest in a final ceremony with past Monday. His final resting place is in a memorial section of Mountain View Memorial Park in Tacoma in a section dedicated to fallen First Responders. The service, a Christian Committal, was one where we committed him to eternal life with God. It was another heartbreaking day, but also one full of much comfort.
COVID still lurking: While at the committal service Don and I were exposed to COVID. It was outdoors and the wind was blowing quite a bit, so we thought our risk fairly small that we'd get it but we still laid low for a few days until we could confirm if we had it or not. Oddly our church members made it through the first, second, and third waves of the disease relatively unscathed. But our defenses seem to be down and every week we learn of yet another person in our congregation who contracted COVID. Fortunately all or nearly all of these folks have been vaccinated.
Double play-structure day: I switched days that I watch our grandchildren this week, just in case of COVID. So instead of Wednesday I had both boys with me on Friday. We had a busy day playing at two different play structures in between naps and lunch. Ian, who is four, was very helpful with his younger brother showing him how to climb and crawl through tunnels or waiting at the bottom of the slide ready to catch Jamie if he was going down too fast.
Books:
Completed this week:
So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo. A book club selection. This one is toughie because the subject is so important but the topic is so hard to process. I know we will have a good disucssion and hopefully everyone is making baby steps in the right direction. (Audio)
French Braid by Anne Tyler. A possible book club selection. This book points out how much we are a part of our families, even when we wish we could break free. (Print from library.)
Currently reading/listening to:
The Heart's Invisible Furies by John Boyne. Several bloggers have shared how much they like this book and I see why. It is a boy/man's story of growing up in Ireland in the 1950s/60s and his awareness of his homosexuality. There are some super sad bits but other hilarious parts. The book is long, almost 600 pages so I may be working on this one for a while. (Print book I own, 34% complete)
The Island of Sea Women by Lisa See. Another potential book club selection has been on my TBR for several years. Set in Korean in the 1930s, based on actual events around these women divers. (Audio, 16%)
Dialogues on Race: Essays by Various Authors. This was the book we used for a Sunday School Class. I got waylaid in my reading and participation in the class, but I want to finish the book. All the essays are written from or toward a Christian audience and certainly speak loudly that we need to do better in race relations than we've done in the past. (Print, 66%)
What one thing would you change? That question was asked of us in church today. What we would change right now to make the world a better place? I'm not sure I heard the whole sermon because I was fantasizing about all the things I'd change. I started fairly small thinking how wonderful it would be to get rid of Fox News off the air so that people could stop being brainwashed. Then I decided that Putin needed to go. But wait what about climate change, women's reproductive rights, Black lives matter, and world peace! The answer, it seems, is all wrapped up in love. Can we be more loving to everyone? Let's try this week.
Ah-h. A two-headed cat? Fred and George have merged into one being. Ha!
This happened back in March of 2010, when the Philadelphia train station still had the kind of information board that clickety-clacked as the various gate assignments rolled up.
Friday56 quote:
The greenery along the road had a freshly washed look after yesterday's rain. A lot of vacationers were out riding bicycles, and she drove extra carefully to avoid them.
Summary: The Garrett family takes their first and last vacation in the summer of 1959. They usually don't venture far from their home in Baltimore. Robin, the father, runs a plumbing supply company and when he is not working, he still acts like he is working. Mercy, the mother, love painting more than anything, often neglecting the cooking and housework for her artistic pursuits. Alice and Lily are teenagers the year of the vacation and they couldn't be more different. Alice is responsible, often picking up duties her mother has dropped. While Lily is wild and boy-crazy hardly participating as a family member. The youngest, David, seems to want to escape from the family's orbit, even at the young age of seven. No one understands him and he can't seem to express his feelings either. As their lives all advance through the decades, the Garretts seem to hold a lot of influence on each other and their patterns "'ripple ineffably but unmistakably through each generation."
Review: My husband and I are celebrating our 40th anniversary this June. We were discussing the length of time we've been married compared to the amount of time we lived with our parents in terms of influence on our lives. Hands down the first 18 years left the biggest imprint on who we are. This is what you see with the Garrett family. The family is not close-knit by any means. No one seems to really understand or appreciate anyone else, yet they cling to the family threads and pass down to their own children whatever it is that makes a family a family.
Oddly, this book about characters, had very fuzzy or blurry characters. I had the hardest time defining many of the qualities of any of the principal characters and none of the secondary ones. I had no idea what motivated them to act the way they did or why they hung onto old grievances, or that they only seemed to think of themselves only. It took me over half the book wondering when the plot would show up before I realized that the plot was the family member's relationships with each other.
Anne Tyler is a good writer and I had no trouble reading the book. It reminded me of the other books I've read by her -- heavy on characters, lighter on plot and setting. I wanted to like the book more than I did, though I wouldn't say I disliked it.
I read French Braid because our book group is considering it for a monthly selection. I actually think we will find quite a bit to discuss if we are willing to open ourselves up and use examples from our own lives and from our families of origin. We'll see if that happens. One of the things I hope we do discuss is the ways, pointed out in the book, that we often operate as a family unit.
Some examples are:
Children are forced to do things for their own good. Somethings are obviously necessary like sleeping and eating, but why are unnecessary things forced on kids like taking a particular type of job or swimming?
Not /talking about the "elephant in the room." Everyone knows the elephant is there. It is huge and it stinks, yet no one acknowledges it.
Talking about one person to other members in the family but not to the person himself.
Holding grudges so long one can't always remember what they are angry about.
Ignoring big issues/problems while focusing on minute details.
Sound like your family? I know it sounds like mine. I guess that is Anne Tyler's genius. She writes books that relate to everyone.
Book Beginnings on Friday is hosted by Rose City Reader. Share the opening quote from current book. The Friday56 is hosted atFreda's Voice. Find a quote from page 56 to share. Visit these two websites to participate. Click on links to read quotes from books other people are reading. It is a great way to make blog friends and to get suggestions for new reading material.
I had a lot of trouble with the topic this week so I decided to consult the Internet and while there I found a bunch of fun book character lists. I decided to share them instead of creating something myself. Click on a few. I think you'll enjoy them.
1. How Famous Characters Would Look In Real Life Based on Their Character Descriptions in the Books -- Reader's Digest, Oct. 2021
6. Thirteen People Who Look Exactly Like Fictional Characters -- Art, Date Unknown
7. 98 People Who Look Exactly Like Cartoon Characters (Okay, true confession: I only looked at the first ten, but they were good and funny) -- Bored Panda, 2017
Ian (2nd from left) and teammates waiting for their turn out on the soccer pitch. He liked this part of the game best.
Weather: I woke up today to bright sunshine, a relief after a rainy cold day yesterday. But the sunshine was short lived. It is now overcast, threatening rain.
What a week. So many feels. Highs and Lows.
Mother's Day: My daughters and grandchildren helped me celebrate Mother's Day with a lovely brunch, a raucous game-playing session, and plenty of loving. We joined my family-of-origin for a Zoom call to wish Mom, aged 93, a happy day.
Paul McCartney: I've been a Beatles fan since I was five or six years old. This week I finally got to see one of the Beatles in concert, Sir Paul McCartney! What a thrill. I loved everything about the concert and our time in Seattle. It was worth the 60 year wait! (Top to Bottom, Left to Right: Don and I at our hotel, MarQueen, is Seattle before the concert; dinner at Queen Anne McMenamin's; We're inside Climate Pledge Arena; Got Back tour; I texted Paul- he texted back; Paul singing Black Bird; Paul singing; the next day at the Seattle Center -- the concert sign was still up; Space Needle.)
Leaked document -- Abortion is on the way out: The insanity of the conservative movement is so hard to understand. Hopefully all those suburban women who voted for Trump in 2016 because they didn't like Hillary, will get activated and understand their role in reversing this reversal. In the meantime, I hope these funny clips help ease the pain.
Kentucky Derby: This was the most fun, outlandish results of the week. If you haven't seen this, it is worth the 2:30 minutes to watch it. (Even if you never watch horse racing. Do it!) Here's a few things that might impress you. The favorite, Epicenter, had 4 to 1 odds to win. The winner, Rich Strike had 80 to 1 odds and was only entered into the race on Friday after another horse was scratched. Amazing.
"The Way Down: God, Greed, and the Cult of Gwen Shamblin." HBO special: We watched all five episodes (in one week) and other related YouTube videos. Read my blog post why this impacted me as much as it did. (Weigh Down/ Way Down.)
Books: I only finished one book this week -- Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection by Kate Bowler. (Click link for review.) I'm reading French Braid by Anne Tyler and So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo. I'll talk about them all next week.
This is what I think about men making decisions about women's healthcare.
A lot to digest this week. How did things go for you?
This past week I learned about an HBO Special called "The Way Down: God, Greed, and the Cult of Gwen Shamblin." My daughter was the one who told me about it and she knew I'd be interested because of my involvement in The Weigh Down Workshop years ago.
My whole life I've thought of myself as overweight. Even when I was a little kid my mother was constantly attempting to get me to lose weight or pointing out how much better I'd feel if I would "trim down." If there was a diet, I've probably tried it -- Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, grapefruit, Atkins, intermittent fasting, counting calories, supplements -- you name it. In 1997 I joined a Christian weight loss program called the Weigh Down Workshop. The workshop was held at a church in town. Participants paid an initial amount, somewhere around $100, and for our money we got a workbook and watched a short video each week featuring the founder, Gwen Shamblin. Gwen was a nutritionist and a Christian. She espoused eating less, or portion control, supplanting God for food. Her videos and the lessons in the workbooks, got the participants looking in the Bible for help with "gluttony" control. If one over-ate wasn't it just part of a pattern of sin?
At first I was tremendously moved by this program and was quite captivated by Gwen's authority and magnetism. What she was saying seemed right AND she backed up her words with scripture. It had to be right. But somewhere in the middle of the twelve-week course, I started to worry. What if the program didn't work for me? Wouldn't that be my last chance? If God couldn't help me lose weight, I was truly sunk, right? I remember sharing this thought with my small group but was met with a stonewall of indifferent looks on their faces. Hmm. Was I the only questioning person there?
Anyway, I think I was fairly successful that first session, losing perhaps 20 pounds. I even bought Gwen's book The Weigh Down Diet and read through it carefully. Once the session ended, however, the weight crept back on, so I decided to participate in another session but this time I would be the discussion leader at my church. Once again there was a capital outlay, even for discussion leaders, but this time the videos had changed. The first first time through each video was only about twenty minutes long, now the second edition videos were all over an hour long. The first ones had been cute and funny and practical, now they were stuffed full of Gwen sitting and talking in a setting in Egypt (theme: Exodus) and what she had to say was almost all about guilt and sin. I could barely stand these videos for the length and for the serious/non-practical nature. After one full 12-week session I was done. I set everything aside and went on with my life. This was in the year 2000.
Weigh Down Workshop materials I saved all these years. I dumped the book at some point but kept these workbooks. I gained some insights into how the program was affecting me at the time but perusing them this week.
Now, twenty-two years later, I have learned the rest of the story: According to the HBO Special, Gwen started a church in 1999 in Brentwood, Tennessee, based on the principals shes been espousing in the Weigh Down Workshop. She called the church The Remnant Fellowship, named after a scripture in Revelations about a small remnant of people who will be left behind but will know the "true" word of God. Over the next twenty years as the church grew, Gwen's philosophies started to really diverge from typical Christian theology. Two specific items come to mind: One, she preached that there is no Trinity* (The trinity is God=Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, three-in-one) which of course is a bedrock foundation of the Christian faith and this proclamation made many people leave her weight loss program worldwide. Secondly, and this is an odd one, she continued with her emphasis on weight loss. Members of the church had to attend Weigh Down workshops and were deemed 'saved' if they were losing weight and would get kicked out of the church if they gained weight. What church does that? Some experts began pointing out ways this church, under Gwen's authority, was becoming a cult. Other cultish things about the church included total control of the members. They weren't allowed to associate with people outside the church, even using services from members of the church, not outside businesses. Gwen thought that women should be submissive to their husbands, which often meant forgiving the men for infidelity but not allowing divorce. And children were to be kept under control, even spanked or beaten to break their willful spirits. Glue sticks (for hot glue guns) were a favorite tool for these beatings because they hurt but didn't leave a mark.
Meanwhile she was enriching herself, living quite an extravagant lifestyle and all the while her hair and makeup styling got more and more bizarre. She would often have her hair teased to be at least 6 inches high. As she seemed to lose more and more weight herself, her hair style seemed to be the way she hid the fact she was shrinking.
In 2018, Gwen announced that sometimes God does condone divorce, and she divorced her husband of forty years and within weeks married Joe Lara, a handsome actor and wanna-be country music singer. He also was a small plane pilot, licensed to fly by sight not instrumentation. In May of 2021 Gwen, her husband, and five others, were in a plane (probably piloted by Lara) going to a MAGA rally in Florida. They all died when the plane crashed into a lake soon after take-off. In the ironies of all ironies, it is thought that the plane crashed because it was over the weight capacity.
Around the time of her death, Gwen Shamblin was busy making a video series for her church, which has several satellite churches all over the country, about greed. She wanted the members to give everything to the church, all their money and property. Gasp! The HBO series was well into production at the time of her death also, and so had to do some post-production work to include the details of the crash and speculate about where the fellowship would go now without their leader. The initial three episode of the special aired in the fall of 2021. But so many people came out of the woodwork after Gwen's death, HBO decided to add two additional episodes about the aftermath. Those were recently aired.
So why am I so bothered? It was over 22 years ago that I walked away from the Weigh Down Workshop. No harm, no foul. Yet, as I watched the HBO special, and other videos I found on YouTube I started to shiver. How close had I come to tipping all the way over? I had contributed to this woman financially by buying her books and paying for the workshop several times. I may not have been in her cult but I was certainly cult-adjacent at least for a short while. I'd started to buy into her philosophy which equated being overweight to being sinful. Yikes! I've often wondered how someone, anyone could be gullible enough to get involved in a cult and now I know. The truth of it is chilling -- it happens slowly, over time, to vulnerable people who are attracted to people who seem to have the answers. I was one of those potential victims. Egads.
Here are a six ways to avoid religious cults (CBS News), with my take on how Gwen Shamblin was the leader of one:
Beware of any kind of pressure."You must decide now, give up food or go to hell."
Be wary of any leader who proclaims him or herself as having special powers or special insight. And, of course, divinity. In Gwen's case, she thought of herself as a prophet of God with new insights from him. Thinking about all the religious cults I know about, God was shoved aside and the person (in this case, Gwen) became more important.
The leadership of the group is closed, although there may be outside
followers, there's usually an inner circle that follows the leader
without question, and that maintains a tremendous amount of secrecy. In the case of the Remnant Fellowship, all the leaders were men, but they deferred to Gwen for guidance.
The group uses deceptive means, typically, to recruit new members, and
then once recruited will subject its members to an organized program of
thought reform, or what most people refer to as brainwashing. The Remnant Fellowship was so big on weight loss that some very overweight people were told to stop eating altogether until they got down to the right weight. (Isn't that called starvation?) Gwen compared the weight loss of her faithful members to the weight loss of Holocaust victims, who all lost weight! (Don't eat=lose weight.)
Typically cults also exploit their members. Within
the group, they'll exploit members financially, psychologically,
emotionally and, all too often, sexually. And think of the children who were beaten by their parents to save them from sin!
A very important aspect of cult is the idea that if you leave the cult, horrible things will happen to you. In the case of the Remnant Fellowship, people would often lose their livelihood if they left the fellowship because of the tangled up finances and intertwined social networks. It is very hard to leave if it means you will lose all your friends or their financial security.
If you are curious and want to learn more about Gwen Shamblin and the Weigh Down Workshop scam/cult, I recommend you watch the HBO Special: "The Way Down: Greed, and the Cult of Gwen Shamblin." If you don't have HBO, this YouTube video (one hour in length) does a good job highlighting the details, too. In fact, I found it answered several lingering questions I had after watching the HBO series: "The Millionaire Preacher with a Weight-Loss Cult / Gwen Shamblin Documentary."
Well, this is me, signing off on another blog post. This time with a sigh of "whew!" Dodged a big one, folks. I dodged a big one.
*Ha-ha! When I first typed the word 'Trinity' I made it 'Trilogy'. Guess you can tell what type of topics I usually blog about...Books!
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