Death of a friend

Louise, photo taken at her 50th wedding anniversary in August.

Today we lost the kindest, sweetest, friendliest person to ever walk the Earth. Louise died today ending a long, long battle with breast cancer. Right up to the end Louise was filled with light. When she could no longer speak for herself, her husband invited friends in to say goodbye, an act of kindness and generosity so they could experience that light one more time.

I "met" Louise at least twenty-five years ago. I say "met" because it wasn't a face-to-face meeting, rather a conversation we had over the phone. I had her eldest son in class at the time and Louise was concerned for him due to the nature of my class. She had just learned that she had breast cancer, and my class, Health, covered topics which might trigger sadness/anger/concern in her son. We spoke several times and I promised to keep an eye out for Micheal's mental health. I did. In a way, the experience helped me bond with Michael and one of his friends in a special relationship, one that remained intact for several years after he left my class.

Louise survived that first bout with cancer, though the treatment was brutal and took a big toll on her health. I finally met Louise in person several years later when she started attending my church. I think, but I am not positive, it was Michael who brought his mom to church. His friend, the one from Health class, was in our youth group so it would make sense that Michael came with him. Anyway, Louise came with her boys and hasn't left until today.

Louise and her husband Jim, were both elementary teachers before retirement. Louise loved kids and her smile when she talked about them, tells me that they loved her back. We had teaching in common but she was sweet whereas I was snarky...the difference between elementary and secondary teachers. Over the years she has maintained a deep friendship with her team of teachers from her last school. In fact many of these friends attended her 50th wedding anniversary party on August and remarked about what a good day Louise had and how radiant she looked. The photo I've used was taken of Louise on that day.

One of Louise's last sewing projects. She made these stuffed cows for a grandson who wants to be a farmer.

I knew Louise best through our membership in our church book club. Louise loved to read and made such insightful comments when we discussed our monthly selections. She and I both loved Lousie Erdrich books. Until this moment I hadn't thought about the name similarity. Of course, she loved a book by another Louise! The last time I was with Louise was at our August meeting. She shared with me that the doctors had nothing new to treat her disease and that she was concerned about the blood transfusion she'd be getting later that week. Otherwise, we talked about her grandchildren, her latest quilting project, and just small talk. Louise didn't want people to feel sorry for her. She'd been battling this recurrence of cancer for five years. She may have thought it boring to talk about cancer treatments. It was a lot more fun to talk about the cow-quilt dolls she had just finished for a grandson who wants to grow up to be a farmer, even though he lives in an urban setting and has never spent any time on a farm. She was doing what she knew how to help make his dream come true. When she left that club meeting she took with her a book for the upcoming month. Louise was always looking into the future with hope and determination.

Last night when book club met again, we talked about Louise and how much she meant to all of us. Then we bowed our heads and prayed for her, for her family, for a peaceful passing. We are a Christian group. We believe in life everlasting. We believe she is in a better place, one not plagued with cancer. But last night, with our prayer, we were all just thinking about losing a friend and how much we will miss her, Louise our sweet friend.

 This is a favorite poem set to music. The rose beyond the wall, shedding sweetness day and night.

Goodbye, dear  Louise. I know you are shedding your sweetness beyond the wall now and we shall meet again some day.