"Outside a dog a book is man's best friend, inside a dog it is too dark to read!" -Groucho Marx========="The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid." -Jane Austen========="I don’t believe in the kind of magic in my books. But I do believe something very magical can happen when you read a good book."-JK Rowling========"I spend a lot of time reading." -Bill Gates=========“Ahhh. Bed, book, kitten, sandwich. All one needed in life, really.” -Jacqueline Kelly=========

Monday, May 25, 2020

TTT: Humorous Opening Lines





Top Ten Tuesday: 
Funny or humorous opening lines to favorite books


“A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head.”
–A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

“Going to Ford’s Theatre to watch the play is like going to Hooters for the food.”
–Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell

“I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.”
–I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith

“We went to the moon to have fun, but the moon turned out to completely suck.”
–Feed by M.T. Anderson

"The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play, so we sat in the house on that cold, cold wet day."
 -The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss

“The human head is of the same approximate size and weight as a roaster chicken. I have never before had the occasion to make the comparison, for never before today have I seen a head in a roasting pan.” –Stiff by Mary Roach

“I may have found a solution to the Wife Problem.”
–The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

“All of this happened, more or less.”
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

“I’m pretty much f*cked.”
–The Martian by Andy Weir

“There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.”
-The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis

“In our family, there was no clear line between religion and fly-fishing.”
-A River Runs Through It by Norman MacLean

“The story so far:  In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
-The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams

"Long ago, when I was a junior high student in Iowa, I remember being taught by a biology teacher that all the chemicals that make up the human body could be bought at a hardware store for $5.00 or something like that." 
-The Body: A Guide to the Occupants by Bill Bryson

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number 4, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling

[Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by Artsy Reader Girl.]

-Anne

28 comments:

  1. These are exactly what I needed to read today! Thank you.

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  2. Love these. the one for Voyage of the Dawn Treader cracks me up. :)

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    1. I know. Me, too. And he was such an awful boy in the beginning.

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  3. These are great opening lines and this is a fun-to-read post!

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  4. Nice list! Love the Snoopy GIF haha!!

    My TTT: https://notprimadonna.blogspot.com/2020/05/top-ten-tuesday-why-i-love-historical.html

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  5. Several popular opening lines there, but also several new ones for me.

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  6. I love the opening line from Feed. Too funny!

    My TTT .

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  7. I had the Harry Potter one on my list this week too!
    My TTT: https://jjbookblog.wordpress.com/2020/05/26/top-ten-tuesday-265/

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  8. Love all of these. Harry Potter and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader made my list, too. Feed, Stiff, and The Restaurant at the End of the Universe are my favorite openers here. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. I just finished The Restaurant at the End of the Universe and enjoyed so many quotes within.

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  9. These are all great, but I really love that one from Feed. :)

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    1. The FEED opening line is one of the few I can remember verbatim on command. It makes me laugh every time.

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  10. I need to read more Mary Roach because I really enjoyed Stiff even though it was super out of my comfort zone.

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  11. Can't go wrong with Mark Watney! :D

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  12. These are great! I love that quote from Feed—it's a great book!
    Here's my TTT!

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    1. I think about this book a lot these days with our focus on consumerism.

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    2. It really does make you think.

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  13. I laughed out loud reading these -- and The Martian's opening line is pretty much perfect lol!

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  14. I love the fact that you included The Cat in the Hat in your list! It has a great opening line for sure.

    Here is our Top Ten Tuesday.

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    1. The opening is quite as funny as the other quotes but it prepares us for funny stuff to happen.

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  15. Fantastic selections this week! And a nice reminder of how funny Assassination Vacation is.

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    1. I should read other books by her since I enjoyed this book so much.

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  16. A good first line is so much fun, isn't it?! And these are wonderful.

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