Sunday Salon: GRIEF

I've been thinking a lot about eternal life lately.

And miracles.

And about God and his promises.

I've also been swamped by grief.

Why?

When death comes calling it is hard not to think about these big, unknowable topics.

This week death knocked on our door when my cousin's husband, Dom Calata, whom we thought of as our nephew, a Deputy Sheriff, was killed in the line of duty. He was shot performing a heroic act to save his partner.

Our church congregation gathered for a prayer vigil just hours after we learned of the shooting. At the time I prayed fervently for a miracle, which I pictured as a return to health.

The next night our church congregation again returned for another prayer vigil, this time armed with the knowledge that his injuries were not compatible with life. This time I prayed that the miracle I sought in my earlier prayers would still happen but this time in the lives of those touched by Dom's life, and as I learned later, by the organs he was donating so that many other people could go on living. His final act of sacrifice.

A memorial for Dom in front of our church, Shep. of the Hill Presbyterian, Puyallup, WA. Prayers for Dom are said as the blue flags are placed on the cross.

Dom was one of the best men I've ever known -- the best of the best. Everyone we talked to felt the same thing. He just had that something special about him. He always made you feel like you were special when he was with you. And he was so loved. Tributes have been coming in from all over the country as his friends and colleagues have learned about his death.

Wracked with grief and full of worry for Dom's wife and young son, I still managed to attend Bible Study via Zoom the next day. I honestly remember very little of our discussion but at the end Bev, our instructor, prayed a prayer written by Ann Voscamp. This prayer was written concerning the war in Ukraine but I glommed onto a few words about prayer itself. I even made the words into a little poster so I could share the words with my friends on Facebook. The words soothed me, knowing that I was doing something, even though it seemed so trite, to be praying for Dom, his family, our congregation, and all his colleagues and friends.

Click this link to read the whole prayer by Voscamp

Right now I am rereading a book I read many years ago for book club, Ordinary Grace by William Kent Krueger. I decided to reread it several months ago as part of my personal challenge to write overdue reviews for books I love but never reviewed. As I sat down to the task of writing that long overdue review, I realized that I had forgotten important details in the book and so decided to reread it. Yesterday I got to the section of the book where the father, a Methodist minister, delivers a beautiful sermon just days after his eldest daughter is found dead. The whole sermon, which is only about a page in length, just broke my heart but these words leapt off the page as I read them:

“In your dark night, I urge you to hold to your faith, to embrace hope, and to bear your love before you like a burning candle, for I promise that it will light your way.

 “And whether you believe in miracles or not, I can guarantee that you will experience one. It may not be the miracle you’ve prayed for. God probably won’t undo what’s been done. The miracle is this: that you will rise in the morning and be able to see again the startling beauty of the day.” -Wm. Kent Krueger

So we go forward, fumbling around in the dark, clinging to our faith, hoping that God's promises are true, holding hands with those we love, waiting together for the miracles that await us.

The City of Edgewood, where Dom Calata was assigned as an officer, has made a memorial with his squad car at city hall. The flags were lowered to half staff. As we drove up other community members were leaving flowers and all were crying, as were we.

A happy memory. Dom and Erin on their wedding day.

-Anne