Review: SANDWICH (+ discussion questions)

Sandwich by Catherine Newman

Harper, 2024. 240 pages.

My book club meets next week. At our monthly meeting we have to select new books for upcoming meetings. Sandwich by Catherine Newman was suggested by one member as one she thought we could all relate to -- women sandwiched between our parents and young adult children; women who have experienced menopause symptoms and now are coping with some of the side-effects of aging. Plus, she said, it is funny.

Now funny is the part I was most interested in. Life hasn't been terribly funny the past few months with the disastrous election results, the abrupt death of a friend, and a cancer diagnosis of another. I craved laughter so I made Sandwich a reading priority before our meeting wanting to make an informed decision about it.

The publisher describes the book as "a moving, hilarious story of a family summer vacation full of secrets, lunch and learning to let go as Rocky [the mom] navigates hormonal changes, past memories, and the acceptance of life's changes." 

Ann Patchett, a favorite author, describes Sandwich as "joy in book form. I laughed continuously, except for the parts that made me cry." I am pretty sure that was my experience with the book, too. I laughed and cried in equal measure. In fact, I found the ending so poignant it felt like I was crying for hours, and probably felt crummy after finishing it just from dehydration. I definitely hope we read this as a club. I believe all of us will have a lot to discuss. 

Discussion question possibles:

• Let's talk about secrets. What were the big secrets in the book? How did they impact the characters? Have you ever held a secret that impacted your health or your relationships?
• Let's talk about parenting. What aspects of mothering did you relate to? Do you think Rocky is/was a good mother?
• Let's talk about relationships. What did you like about Rocky and Nicky's relationship? Their relationship with their children? Parents?
• Let's talk about food? How did the family celebrate with food? Can you relate to their experiences with food? How? 
• Let's talk about the term "sandwich."
• Let's talk about the characters. Which character was your favorite? Why? 
• Let's talk about health and aging. Do you think Rocky overreacted to her parent's aging health? Why do you think her parents didn't share what was happening with their only daughter. Have you experienced anything similar in your family? Do you think the mental health issues were handled accurately?
• What did you think of the book? How would you describe it to a friend who hasn't read it? 
• What are a few of your favorite quotes? Here are a few of mine---
• “And this may be the only reason we were put on this earth. To say to each other, I know how you feel. To say, Same. To say, I understand how hard it is to be a parent, a kid. To say, Your shell stank and you’re sad. I’ve been there.”
• “Life is a seesaw, and I am standing dead center, still and balanced: living kids on one side, living parents on the other. Nicky here with me at the fulcrum. Don’t move a muscle, I think. But I will, of course. You have to.”
• “But grief was like a silver locket with two faces in it. I didn’t know what the faces looked like, but it was heavy around my neck, and I never took it off.”

I thought the summary in the NYT review of Sandwich was so perfect and so funny, I'll repeat it here for you:

If this story sounds privileged, well, it is; if you’re looking for wars, drug cartels or Grisham-level plot, Newman is not your go-to. But if you want to laugh out loud, tear up, and rush to pull out a book in the 35 seconds between subway stops, this sweet, savory, tenderhearted Sandwich fits the bill, and goes down like (bread and) buttah. (NYT, June 21, 2024)

My rating: 5 stars.

-Anne