Nonfiction Review: MEMORIAL DAYS

In May 2023 I read the book Horse by Geraldine Brooks. It was a book club selection and we had a very lively discussion over the book, as I remember. Brooks is one of my favorite authors and I always appreciate how much research I can tell she has done for her books. 

Last year I learned that Brooks' husband, Tony Horwitz, died suddenly in 2019 when Brooks was in the middle of writing her book Horse. This thought struck me at that time -- How, on earth, did she complete a book and have it published just three short years after that event? I've learned that Horwitz, also a writer, often helped his wife with her research and proofread her manuscripts, greatly assisting her writing process.

This year I read Brooks' memoir, Memorial Days, which answers to some degree my question above.

Three years after her husband's death Geraldine Brooks booked a flight to a remote Australian island with the intention of FINALLY giving herself the time and the space to mourn. In a small cabin away from phones, TV, and social media Brooks pondered the various ways in which different cultures grieve and what rituals of her own she might employ to help her rebuild a life around the void left by Tony's death. After his death she was so wrapped up in all the duties required of her she left little time to properly mourn his death. Now three years later she realized that grief doesn't go away because you ignore it. She knew she had to do the WORK of mourning, of coming to terms with her grief.

In her essay “On Grief” Jennifer Senior quotes a therapist who likens the survivors of loss to passengers on a plane that has crashed into a mountaintop and must find their way down. All have broken bones; none can assist the others. Each will have to make it down alone (from Memorial Days).

During her time on the island Brooks would often go for days without seeing any other humans. Instead she spent time reading excerpts from his journals and other writings, exploring his medical records, and recalling her own memories of their life together. If she did she run into someone, say on the beach down the path from the cabin, she would turn away from the contact not wanting any intrusions on her time with Tony. Finally, after so many years, she was able to properly say goodbye to him. During these days of melancholy or "the happiness of being sad," as Victor Hugo called them, she was able to embrace her new life.

I was very moved by Memorial Days even though the memoir didn't expressly answer my question about how Brooks wrote Horse after her husband's death. I was moved because I know someone in a very similar situation who experienced the untimely death of her husband. Because of his position in the community there have been many memorials and honors paid to him and she has been showered with love and attention by many people and organizations. I fear, however, that the widow has never had the time and space to properly mourn her loss in a personal way. I don't think she has made it down off the mountain due to her "own broken bones." No one can do the work for her but now I wonder if this book would help be the catalyst toward finally taking the time to do the hard work of grieving, which is still with her.

The book is not cheery, obviously, but it is hopeful and helpful. I do recommend it.

Rating: 5 stars.

-Anne